Dating Guidelines

Building a successful relationship in life begins with the desire to do it right, following God's principles and responding correctly a step-in time to achieve a long-lasting marital bliss. Dating is an exciting engagement, and both parties look forward to it with an expectation. Your very first date determines if there is going to be a second one with the same person. When the two person's expectations are honorable and appear to be in the right direction, then, there may be another time together. So, in this article, look out for the tips that promote a healthy dating relationship.

Dating Tips

Are You Ready for Marriage?

Dating is meant for men and women who are prepared and eager for marriage. Mature men and women that are ready to submit themselves in a marital covenant as dating graduates into a union with all its responsibility to one another. Desperate to succeed in marriage. Willing to give whatever it takes to keep the marriage boat sailing in God's immeasurable sea of love. It is not a crime to not be ready for a date yet, possibly because you need time to get ready or heal up from past breakup.

What do I do Before Going Out on a Date?

The first thing to do is to start to pray and ask questions while providing reasonable answers. According to Genesis 24:12, the servant of Abraham went on a search for a wife for his master's son. He started out by praying these prayers. He talked with God before making any tangible decisions. He said, “O Lord, God of my master, Abraham,” he prayed. “Please give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water. This is my request. I will ask one of them, ‘Please give me a drink from your jug.’ If she says, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’—let her be the one you have selected as Isaac’s wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master.” Before he had finished praying, he saw a young woman named Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel, who was the son of Abraham’s brother Nahor and his wife, Milcah.

It is important to do some findings, you may call it a background check-up, to have a little knowledge of the person you want to see. Talk to God about it. Do you talk to God? Start today by talking to Him sincerely about what you have in your heart. God wants to talk to you about everything that bothers you. Try Him Today. Never appear on a date totally unaware and uninformed about him or her. The world has become a global village where information is available for seekers. Online information, social media posts, friends, and interests go a long way to tell you the kind of person you are about to go out with. See his internet presence, those he follows, and who follow him. Just to have a forehand knowledge of him/her.

Who Do I Tell  About My Date?

Gen.24:28(NLT); The young woman ran home to tell her family everything that had happened. 

Dating is not what you do in secret, your parents, guardian, or friend as the case may be, could have good information about the person in question. They need to know before you go and the outcome of the date. Your family is entitled to know everything, not some or partial information, but everything about you and your date. Moreover, you are responsible for some people in your life.

These people are those who take responsibility for you, it is way easier to watch and care for you if they are in the light. They love and care for your well being. They definitely deserve to know who you want to date and where you are having the time together. Sure! you want to make them proud now.

The most important aspect of it is to spend time in prayers seeking God's counsel over the date of whether to go or not. Prayer is simply talking to God and waiting for His response. Try praying to God today. 

Where Should We Go For the Date?

Gen. 24:18-20 “Yes, my lord,” she answered, “have a drink.” And she quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and gave him a drink. When she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels, too, until they have had enough to drink.” So she quickly emptied her jug into the watering trough and ran back to the well to draw water for all his camels.

A date should be in a public place, somewhere comfortable with you both and suitable for communication is as well as with people around you. It could also be during an activity or a volunteering program with you two. Since the whole essence of dating is to see compatibility between both the man and the woman that informs necessary decisions. You may talk over a glass of cold water or coffee as the case may be. Somewhere affordable for the man to pay the bill, every woman desires a responsible man. It should be meaningful time spent together, examining and comparing each other's goals and aspirations for life to see compatibility.

 Who Should Make the First Move?

 Gen. 24:17(NLT) Running over to her, the servant said, “Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.”

Whoever makes the first move in any marital relationship should be ready to continue to provide leadership as it progresses. It is important at this point that the man should take responsibility for making the first move. It honors him more to take the role of leadership as it is so ordained by the founder of the institution of marriage. The mature man should take responsibility for the woman as she supports him. Someone must take the lead. The man should be the head of his home.

Never Talk About the Following During your First Date

Past Dating Experience

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, Phil. 3:13. You will end up where you are looking.

Move Out of Your Past

Leave your past where it belongs and focus on the new date to achieve the whole essence of the event. According to Isaiah 43:18, Do not dwell in the past. Stop living your former life. Do not let your past date inform the present one. Go out on a date with the openness of heart and willingness to move forward irrespective of your past experience.

Make a Shift

Leave your past dating life out of your discussions and talk more about knowing each other. The former has the power to inform your new date if you dwell on it. It is capable of reproducing the same experience of the past because the mind has been set on the past. Consciously make a shift in your thought and mindset. Forget the past experiences and move on.

Who moves forward while looking behind?

Who drives a vehicle backing the road? Those who keep Looking behind keep themselves behind and stagnant in the journey of life. If you want to make tangible progress, quit the past, and focus on the one thing: looking forward to what lies ahead.

The Three Fs of  Dating

1. Focus

Focus on what lies ahead of you. Do not rob yourself of the precious moments and gifts in your present. Secure your future by looking forward to what lies ahead of you in your relationship.  

2. Forgive

Forgive yourself of past mistakes and stop building a tent or pity party around your past. Ask God to forgive you and most importantly forgive yourself and others. Deliver yourself from all the accusations, faults, and blames. Move your tent on to the promised land prepared for you.

3. Forget

Forgetting the past is about renewing your mind, over and over with the word of God. Genuinely turn your focus away from the former events. Ruth was able to put her past all behind her, being a widow, to be able to move on with Mr. Boaz, who married her. Imagine that she let her past hold her in a locked cage with the keys right inside her pockets. 

Fear Will Come

It is normal to go on a date with mixed feelings; thinking whether or not it will work. But you do not talk about your fears during your first date. Fears often appear to be real but are false. This appears like you are anxious to know that you are accepted. Put your trust in God. Your worth is not determined by whether you are rejected or accepted. Isaiah 41:10 says Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Financial Status

Basic financial statements should not be discussed at this meeting. It is okay to know where he or she works or what he or she is doing to earn a living. Student loans and credit card debts should be discussed as the relationship progresses into a full-fledged engagement. Acknowledge that knowing each other is the very purpose of your meeting together. This may be misleading if made a criteria for going into a relationship. While it is advisable to keep your credit score high.

Family Challenges

Leave family challenges or problems out of the discussions. Else you may be sending a wrong signal to a proposed suitor. Help him or her know your personality and communicate your likes and dislikes. Your faith, educational, and career goals, drive behind what you do and desires.

Sex is Not For Now

There should be no petting, necking, or sex. Engaging in such acts means laying an unhealthy foundation for your relationship. And this may be the end of dating with him or her. Do well to present yourself honorably and keep your body.

Questions To Ask On a First Date

 1. Like the servant asked Rebekah, he said, “Whose daughter are you?” he asked. “And please tell me, would your father have any room to put us up for the night?”

Talk about who your parents are, your family, people, language, tribe, community, nationality. To know where you are from. The names of your parents and who they are, how they have helped in raising and realizing your dreams to bring you to where you are now.

2. Is God his/her Father? You really need to this.