A-Z of DATING

The Test Run

Today’s topic reminds me of my experience when I had to go with my Mummy to Lagos, Nigeria. She is so special! we went to get a phone for me, after a long search I found a phone that looked like what I wanted, having most of the features that my money could afford. Finally, I decided I was going to get it, but first, we had to test the phone and it’s accessories to make sure it works before making a financial commitment. The phone was tested by the technician but was amazed to see that it won’t work, so fast forward, I got another phone that worked perfectly before making payment. Nowadays, you can return your purchase back to the store if you don’t want it anymore within the warranty period or probably get a replacement.

The Aftermath of Dating 

The value of human relationships is fast dwindling as time goes, commitment is sadly vanishing away. Honor for one another is taking the backseat in most human relationships around the globe. This can be characterized by the increasing rate of chronic diseases, depression, and suicide as a result of hurts and heartbreaks from relationships, friends, family, divorce. Dating has been reduced to a test running project, where emotions are toiled with, and eventually abandoned in deep depression to continue in another dating process without a promising end in the long run.

Heights and Depths of Dating

Romantic relationships typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship. Dating may at any time lead to a breakup or an intimate relationship. Dating is without commitment or covenant whatsoever, it is a long cut in the long run. It does not take its root from God, it’s not His idea for choosing a marriage partner. It is rather an arrangement to find what you want through a test run process. Which in most cases results in emotional abuse at different stages. 

The Original Context “Courtship”

When you neglect God in the choice of marriage He never forces Himself, but you eventually earned the duty of keeping the relationship going everywhere you want. Which of course isn’t God’s pattern for building a godly family. 

Children of God should not follow the pattern of the world in making marital decisions. Singles should be informed by God about who to marry as He leads in your everyday life. 

The Mold of Dating

Dating is a worldly perspective to the art of marriage, with the intention of replacing the original context which is “Courtship”, Some say it is outdated but God’s standards stand for sure, it is in fact up to date for all times and seasons. James 1:1 says, so don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. God’s yardstick has never changed and will not be bent for the twenty-first-century believers. The world has created a mold for courtship so that everyone including believers alike can fit into it. It is necessary to take a stand to do a relationship in God’s perspective which is in love and honor for one another.  

Sampling Process in Choice

Dating is a speculation or sampling process. From my knowledge of Chemistry, sampling is the process of taking a small part or quantity intended to show what the whole is like for the identification and measurement of the chemical constituents of my specimens. During my college days as a chemist, I sampled various species of tomato and tomato products like ketchup and tomato paste to analyze the antioxidant capacity and lycopene content in each species and products. There is a possibility of running other tests on my samples but I limited my analysis to the antioxidant properties of my species which my advisor and I wanted. Sampling seems similar to dating, it is limited in so many ways. Why not go to God in prayers for His answer to your question of a wife or husband, even a friend?  He alone has the answers to the questions in your heart.

Ideal Progression in Marriage and Sex

Gen. 34:1-4; Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem, son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. 3 His heart was drawn to Dinah, daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 4 And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.”

The progression of Hamor’s action from the story to get a wife is baffling and should not be heard in the camp of the brethren. First, He saw the girl, next he took her and raped her, afterward desired her to be his wife, last spoke to his father to get her for him to be his wife. This must have been the way for getting a partner in his community. How do people get a wife or husband in your community? Is it Biblical? But for the family of Jacob, it is not done. The relationship should have started with speaking with God and his father about Dinah before going on to see her which will be making a marriage proposal to her, getting her consent before going into marriage and then, having sexual relations in the confines of marriage. 

Mingling Singles

Messing with the original progression could become too costly. Singles should refrain from mingling with the culture of the world, through friendship with unbelievers. One of the people you associate with might finally make advances to you. Make wise decisions to surround yourself with like-minded people who share your beliefs and values for life. 2 Cor. 6:14(NLT); Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil[d]? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?

There is Hope For You

There is hope for you today, to do relationships right, according to God’s way.  2 Cor. 6:17-18(NLT); Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you.[f] 18 And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.[g]”

The lady in the story went out with the women of the land, breaking social barriers that existed between the world and the people of God. She opened herself up to the mold that existed in the land, the norm, and culture. She was harassed and raped because she yoked with women who did not share her belief system and way of life. She wouldn’t agree to sex being a virgin without the marital commitment in a covenant and being found amidst the women of the land who were used to this way of relationship, it was normal. There was no one to rescue her from his grip. Sexual intercourse should be in the bonds of marriage between a man and his wife. 

Shalom!